


The Perfect Solution

by MonsterTruckToadette



Category: Oglaf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 21:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterTruckToadette/pseuds/MonsterTruckToadette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ivan know that jerking off into glass jars could only last for so long...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perfect Solution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zekkass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zekkass/gifts).



> All of the lame part of the this story are mine, all of the awesome parts were written by a good friend of mine. Even if the set up bores you, I strongly suggest you stay turned for the ending :)

_Fappa fappa fappa._

The apprentice had this down to a fine art.

 _Fappa fappa fap._

Back resting against the bookcase in his chambers. Glass jar in his hand.

 _Fappa fap._

He only had a few moments before he had to go and wait on mistress.

 _Shuckka shuccka shuk_

He needed to come quickly. He was almost there...

 _SMASH._  


The glass jar slid from his hand and smashed against the cobbled floor.

He quickly pulled his hand away from his cock.

 __

"Urgggh..."

Not quick enough. Out from the tip of his cock slipped a small, perfectly formed cum sprite. The apprentice closed his eyes, enjoying his brief moment of pleasure before the panic kicked in.

"I'm telling!" the glistening white, teardrop-shaped creature shouted, grinning at him manically.

The apprentice threw himself forward, trapping the sprite beneath his weight. Or so he thought. It slipped out from under him and headed towards the door. The apprentice crawled feebly after it, clawing desperately at the cobblestones. The sprite gave a little wave as it slipped underneath the door. The apprentice launched himself to his feet and dashed towards the door.

The sprite nimbly danced down the corridor, shouting theats and promising to tell. Gangly arms and legs flailing the apprentice stumbled after it, holding his pants up with one hand as he tried to grab the sprite with the other. The folk they passed in the hallway barely glanced twice at the merry chase.

Becoming more and more desperate as the sprite approached the throneroom, the apprentice chased it with reckless abondon. Throwing himself down around corners, tripping down staircases, the sprite in front of him oblivious to his presence. As they reached the final staircase, the Apprentice seized his chance and as they reached the final staircase, robes flying, leapt down it in one fell swoop. He landed heavily, and moving faster than he even had in his life, pounced on the wily sprite as he sprawled along the floor. His grin of truimph was short lived as he realised the sprite was literally slipping through his fingers. Cupping it in his hands as tightly as he could, he cast about for some way to contain the escaping sprite.

He heard a loud creak as the door behind him opened and in his panic he did what he had never wanted to do again. He did the only thing he could do: he ate his cum.

One of the mistresses silent valets opened the door, and looked at him expectantly.

The apprentice picked himself up off the ground, and doing his best not to think about it, swallowed the cumsprite. Well, tried to. The tenacious little creature was jumping around in his mouth and would not go down. He walked up the red carpet towards the throne, a giant panicky smile on his face while he tried desperately to swallow. The creature had managed to wedge itself on his teeth as was trying to tear his lips apart with his tiny tickly fingers.

His mistress was sprawled on her throne like usual. It was clearly a special occasion however, as she was dressed in full formal regalia. A magnificent jeweled green headdress topped her fiery locks and her body was sinched into a matching corset, squeezing her lithe frame and small breasts into heartstoppingly indecent shapes. She wore nothing else. The effect was shocking and blood drained from his face and into his crotch in a mixture of fear and desire. His jaw slackened momentarily. It was the opportunity the sprite had been waiting for.

The sprite burst from between his lips. The mistress looked at it quizically, and leaned over to one of her assistants.

"Did I remember to re-attach his cock?" she whispered. The attendant nodded.

"Mistress! Mistress, he's been doing it" the sprite clamoured.

"Good!" said the mistress. "I mean that's terrible! But still, it's been so long I was starting to worry he'd forgotten how."

"Oh no!" said the sprite. "He's really very good. There are a whole collection of us up in his chambers."

The ambassador of Xoan stepped forward from the crowd. Slender, long limbed and handsome, he too was dressed more formally. He was clad from toes to chin in a form-fitting suit that clung in detail to every minutae of his body, his hair was also up in an elaborate tangle of jewels, though his were blue. The effect was almost as distracting as his mistriss' "Excuse me your equisiteness, but i do belive this is something we should investigate in more detail.

"I agree," the mistress allowed herself to be helped from her dais. "Come, apprentice."

The party made its way up the winding narrow staircases to the apprentice's tower. The ambassador was in the lead, joyfully prancing along, the mistress next, stamping her feet with her long stately legs a constant distraction to all, and the apprentice lagging miserably behind, wishing he could run and hide and wondering if he would be any worse of if he were to opt to disappear somewhere along the way.

It did occur to him to be worried about how the ambassador knew the way to his way room so easily... the ambassador opened the apprentice's door, and stood next to the bookcase expectantly, as he waited for the room to fill with all the random onlookers they had picked up on their march. At last, the apprentice slunk into the room. The ambassador paused theatrically for a few moments then pulled the sheet off the bookcase with a flourish, revealing row upon row of little sprites in jars.

Upon seeing their mistress they began jumping up and down excitedly. "Mistress! Mistress!"

"Well, this is quite a collection! Whatever shall we do with all this cum?"

One of the unlookers stepped forward, "I shall build a labyrinth to house the cum!"

Everyone ignored him.

The ambassador sidled up beside the mistress. "It can be your gift to me!"

"I already gave you a gift today!" She gestured towards the apprentice's window where a vacant-eyed, naked blond girl was eating the curtains and braying quietly in between mouthfuls.

"Yes, but now I want this gift!" He beamed at her with big puppydog eyes.

"Fine! And you," she pointed at the apprentice with evil delight, "you shall come with me while I think of a suitably wicked punishment."

******

The mistress had chosen the punishment of 'wait' - leaving the apprentice even more on edge as he went about his regular duties. He was especially jumpy when performing his morning ritual of oiling down the succubi.

He'd thought that he would grow accustomed to it eventually, but he'd discovered it is next to impossible to get used to two supernaturally beautiful, bright red women that moan and kiss while you touch them. He dipped his rag in the bucket, doing his best to ignore them as they ran their hands over each others' breasts. He wiped down the taut belly of one as she lowered her head to the other demon's nipple. With his wet cloth he administered to her buttocks as her playmate stroked her fingers up the inside of her perfectly formed thigh.

The apprentice groaned. This had been somewhat more bearable when he knew there would be release at the end, but now... He was still worrying about his first outstanding punishment, and didn't dare incur another. He dipped the cloth into the bucket again, and frantically rubbed it across smouldering skin, keeping his eyes closed as much as possible, but he could not ignore the writhing bodies beneath his hands. When he was done he threw his bucket back into the closet and ran back to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

He glanced around the room and tried to find something, anything to calm himself down. He lit the small cone of incense his mistress had given him, and tried to sit on the bed and meditate for a suitable answer. He closed his eyes, and tried to think of some way to relieve the erection threatening to burst the seams of his trousers. He tried to banish the sexy pictures that kept interfering with his concentration, when suddenly he had the perfect idea. The ambassador!

****  
The apprentice was practically skipping on his way over to the ambassador's chambers, his previous urgency forgotten by the overwhelming sense of what a fantastically good idea this was. The ambassador's door stood wide open as it always did. Gentle moans floated out on a soft breeze as he approached, which was curious given that there was no breeze anywhere else in the castle.

The apprentice peered through the door. The floor of the anteroom was littered with groups of people in various states of undress. On closer inspection, they were also in various stages of sexual union. The apprentice carefully made his way through the room, careful to not step on any... anythings.

He slipped through the door to the inner chamber and found the ambassador sitting in the middle of the floor, an array of glass jars arranged before him. On closer inspection, he realized they were the jars containing his cum sprites. "Now, Mr. Flottlebottom," the ambassador chided, "You've been very bad indeed, haven't you? I think you need to go and sit in the time out chair while Miss Tiddleworth tickles your feet with alligator teeth."

The apprentice just stood and stared. The jars were all over the floor, some of them in groups, some of them by themselves, some in some sort of lurid pink doll house. The sprites, which normally jumped and clattered and yelled whenever the apprentice approached, were now sitting demurely in the jars, performing whatever tasks the ambassador had assigned for them. One even appeared to be wearing a small blue hat.

Eventually, the ambassador turned and noticed him. "Ah! Ivan! Have you come to meet all my children?" He gestured expansively. "Only I forget. You are already... intimately accquainted. To what then, do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

Ivan blushed, and cast his eyes downwards, "Well, I have this problem you see..."

The ambassador's eyebrows shot up. "Oh really? And you've come to see me? Whatever could it be?"

The apprentice looked over to the cumsprites, "Well, it's about them actually."

"You don't need them back, do you?" Sandoval's face fell.

"No, it's only... I can't do..... well anything without making more of them."

The ambassador beamed. "Well that's perfect! I need some new specimens. Clara Putina is pregnant you see. She's telling people that it's Gregs, but really I think it's that Snicketty Persimmon."

Ivan stepped a little bit closer to the ambassador. "Maybe... but I was kind of hoping that if it wasn't me that did it, maybe there wouldn't be any cumsprites."

"Not you? But how else could you get off? I know! Maybe if we let them all out of their jars they will form a giant conglomerate cumsprite that will be able to get you off!"

"I was kind of hoping you would be more... intimately involved."

The ambassador's eyebrows shot up. "I do have some powers, but I can't make giant cumsprites."

Ivan sighed, then grabbed the ambassador and kissed him fiercely on the lips.

"Oh my! What exactly did you have in mind?" Sandoval asked innocently when Ivan finally let him go. He fluttered his eyelashes a little.

"Well," Ivan said, nervously taking off his clothes. "There were some sexual positions I saw some villagers offer as tribute to our mistress. I made notes and drew some diagrams..." he fumbled with his satchel bag while halfway out of his pants, and some stick-figure drawings of smiling people with absurd proportions fell on the floor.

Sandoval tore his gaze away from the front of Ivan's well-worn underpants and glanced at the drawings. His eyes doubled in size and he managed to turn away just in time to hide his grin. He turned away and rummaged in a draw. "Ahhh, my delightful little pumpkin cake..."

Ivan watched from behind as the slender ambassador pulled on a pointy hat and some sort of cape.  
"...I cast level one eroticism!" he cried, whirling to face the skinny apprentice. Somehow, Sandoval was now naked under his cloak and was leaping at him with a knife. In one swift move, he had managed to slice off Ivan's underwear and had tackled him backward on a stack of plush cushions, his mouth already around the other's member. "Mmmph, my crumpet... love your... mmm..." he said wetly, around his mouthful of cock. Ivan could only gasp in surprise and pleasure as the warm tongue of his lover worked its wonders.

As his eyes glazed over, slowly he took in the rest of the room, a myriad of artifacts and silks and various opulence. Leaning against a wall there was a complicated-looking sword with a large... penis?

Ivan could no longer pay attention to anything else now as Sandoval had found a rhythm, his head bobbing up and down, his long hair feathering along Ivan's legs and belly deliciously. He was close to cumming now and yet, would it work? Would his curse persist and his sperm betray him to mistress again? Would she punish him for this also? Fear fought with his pleasure and he decided he wasn't ready to find out. His hands in the ambassador's hair, he grabbed hold and pulled him up and off him before kissing him deeply, and throwing him onto his back.

From there he headed south, finding his way down to the hard, grey skinned shaft that stood out from a neatly trimmed patch of pale hair, quivering. It smelled like the rest of Sandoval, clean and perfumed and a little like cinnamon would if it were colored blue. He took it into his mouth and sucked - gently at first, and then with fervour, licking anything he could reach. He found he actually enjoyed fighting the urge to gag as he took it deeper and deeper.

Sandoval's fingers gripping nearby cushions, he murmured and moaned in a beautiful, strange language.

Soft but strong hands pulled Ivan away from his new hobby pushed and him onto his hands and knees.

"Stay," purred Sandoval as he maneuvered behind Ivan.

Ivan felt a shock of pleasure as Sandoval's tongue found its way into his ass, licking and probing and lubing.

Sandoval leant back for a moment, admiring his work and the naked from of Ivan. Then he took his erection in one hand and placed it at Ivan's now-wet, waiting entrance. He pushed inside and Ivan screamed feebly in pain and pleasure. More and more Sandoval gently worked into him, until at last he was in up to the hilt. Leaning forward, he whispered into Ivan's ear, "Oh my cupcake, oh my gorgeous little pavlova, my tepid fondue, my pretty moussaka, how I have longed to have you here. Every poison vendor I pass reminds me of us..." His appelations rose in volume and absurdity as his pace quickened, Ivan rhythmically pushing back onto him, impaling himself, groaning and quailing under him until the ambassador climaxed and collapsing sweating onto him.

Ivan came too, his semen shooting forwards and onto the floor in front of his face. Through the glow of orgasm, he saw the little white puddle form into a familiar sprite. although it didn't have its mocking grin and wasn't shouting or running, it seemed to have a look of total peace and contentment that mirrored his own. It looked him in the eyes as if to say goodbye and smiled at him as it melted back into a puddle, quiet and still.

For the first time in memory, Ivan, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction and safety, fell asleep in his ambassador's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes i know that the succubbi are chained by their hands, the use of names changes halfway through, and many scenes are poorly written. All faults are my own, and many thanks to my betas, and my awesome big brother who i'm sure would have prefered i hang out with him rather than wrote stories on christmas day :)


End file.
